but give me more, delicious
July 22, 2008
I.
Open, warm
and pour.
Ask for guts
or skin —
something to fill,
to praise.
II.
Lips I bottle.
Plates I lick.
III.
Sit slowly,
my moistening swoon,
my comforting steak.
IV.
You are making men
pop with warming,
with their stew.
V.
Most of them are you,
with different chests.
VI.
Down with wine,
with them.
I edge
from them
to you.
(From them: their.)
VII.
Bones, lips
and you:
the want-groan
of the wanted.
* * *
Written from a Poetry Collaborative prompt to take the words from someone else’s poem and write a new poem using only those words. I used Blythe’s words, of course.
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10 Responses to “but give me more, delicious”
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This work is licensed under Creative Commons.
If you don’t credit Dana (by using her full name and preferably by linking back to the appropriate post) for however you copy, distribute, transmit or adapt her words, you are being bad. And naughty. And she will have her servant monkeys hunt you down and cut your hands off so you can never copy, distribute, transmit or adapt anyone’s work again and call it your own.
(Unless, of course, you were to use your butt cheeks to manipulate your keyboard with the copying, distributing, transmitting, adapting and whatnot, but Dana fortunately has only met one person whose butt cheeks are that talented. He could play a major third on a piano using nothing but his ass. She kids you not.).
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I really liked this one. Erotic, but also made me hungry for a steak.
Neil, step away from the cow!
The spare lines are so delicate, as are the short stanzas, like a lilting song. I can imagine the narrator humming it softly while thinking of the beloved, of touching and tasting. Well done!
Christine, do both the narrator and the subject of the poem seem like women to you? That was my intent.
i love that this is in pieces. delicate little links. hints. teases.
I *totally* thought this was about to chicks, esp. from section V on. So, so nice. I love what you did with my ragtag poem. You made it beautiful. Delicate is part of what it is, but it’s also carnal. And almost a masculine edge. Is that weird of me to think?
I thought the voices were women.
Fabulous. I start to say crazy things I have to edit or delete.
PDW, I couldn’t figure out how to do it any other way.
Blythe, it’s not weird of you at all. (And hai.)
Deb, bring on the crazy.