Comments on: because you’ll need to stop and listen eventually

By: Clare

Clare — Fri, 09 May 2008 22:07:55 +0000

I think you are brilliant. Just sayin’

By: Dana

Dana — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:47:47 +0000

Rethabile, I am trying. We’ll see if I can keep it up.

By: Dana

Dana — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:47:22 +0000

Thanks Christine, I think I want to work in more stuff you would see on the side of the highway in Oklahoma. I don’t know how that would work with the dog, who’s clearly not on the side of the road. I feel like I need to read something by Sharon Olds to get me into the tone of this poem.

By: Rethabile

Rethabile — Thu, 08 May 2008 13:23:49 +0000

Write, write, write. We like, like, like.

By: mariacristina

mariacristina — Thu, 08 May 2008 02:26:24 +0000

I agree with Clare. It’s writing from the gut. The part about the narrator taking the dog, then leading into the parched land is very powerful.

By: Dana

Dana — Thu, 08 May 2008 02:20:02 +0000

Clare, thank you. I feel like it’s a mess, but I think there’s something in it. If not, at least it’s writing practice, right?

By: Dana

Dana — Thu, 08 May 2008 02:19:29 +0000

Hi Summer, thanks for your comment. I appreciate the feedback.

By: Clare

Clare — Thu, 08 May 2008 01:47:03 +0000

Breathtaking….even as an early draft.

By: summer picnic

summer picnic — Thu, 08 May 2008 01:06:01 +0000

Love it, especially the beginning that hooked me and the end brining it back to the tree: “the way the tree took your name as I carved it, without a wince, without letting go a single bead of sap.”